Batman Leg Lamp - You Know, For Kids!

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So you like those sexy leg lamps, right? Everybody does. They give the room a certain "Burlesque Jeffrey Dahmer" feel, and they're a great conversation starter! I mean, most of the conversations will start with "Why do you have that tacky-ass leg in your house" but that still counts, right?

"I'll just leave this here in the window, where surely it will attract a real woman with a bulb for a torso!"

Maybe, though, you're not comfortable with a single, disembodied female limb in your face all day. I understand, friend; we can't all be Quentin Tarantino. So the sexy-lady-leg is out, but you still need a lighting system that goes with your lava lamp and Route 66 road sign, preferably one that also reaffirms your commitment to costumed justice. Whatever are you to do?

Relax. I have you. It's going to be okay. Like a lonely millionaire staring out the window of his lonely manor and deciding the form of his lonely crusade against the night, your answer will come in the form of a bat.

Just take a moment to drink her in. Glorious, no? Available now at Amazon dot com, this beauty was produced by the good people at NECA, manufacturers of a great deal of movie and pop culture memorabilia which is definitely NOT targeted at the skin-eating-insane. I especially like the fact that somebody decided to stick the Batman logo in the middle of the shade, presumably to ensure that your friends don't think that you're actually celebrating that one issue of The Phantom with a printing error from the knee down.

If you prefer your leg of justice to be a little more Kryptonian in style, there's a Superman model as well. No Wonder Woman, though, which seems like a bit of an oversight, given that it would surely be a slam dunk with the extremely large and influential Hiketeia Batman Cosplay set.

Seriously, just a bit of hot glue on the side of your face and you're set

It's just like Adam West said to Winston Smith: "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever, and with a range of settings so that you can comfortably read without bothering your partner!"

Oh, and if you should happen to have a spare $44.99 plus shipping lying around, my birthday is in May. Just saying.